This year is my burnout year. Although 2023 started out pretty okay—not going to lie—things have nosedived incredibly quickly since January. For a long time, I saw the signs of a declining fire as I felt the ground slowly crumble beneath my feet. Technically, this isn’t the first time I felt a major burnout. Previously, however, the solution was pure and simple, so when it presented itself, I started to feel less and less frustrated and exhausted. Now, having overcome that yet still being hit with another burnout, I can tell you it feels more powerful and hopeless. It started to feel toxic, as if the people who pretended to care for me at work do not have my best interests. You may be feeling the same way right now, or perhaps you’re just really tired and need a break. How can we tell the difference? Well, according to Dr. Laurie Santos, there are three defining traits of a burnout:
This year is my burnout year. Although 2023 started out pretty okay—not going to lie—things have nosedived incredibly quickly since January. For a long time, I saw the signs of a declining fire as I felt the ground slowly crumble beneath my feet. Technically, this isn’t the first time I felt a major burnout. Previously, however, the solution was pure and simple, so when it presented itself, I started to feel less and less frustrated and exhausted. Now, having overcome that yet still being hit with another burnout, I can tell you it feels more powerful and hopeless. It started to feel toxic, as if the people who pretended to care for me at work do not have my best interests. You may be feeling the same way right now, or perhaps you’re just really tired and need a break. How can we tell the difference? Well, according to Dr. Laurie Santos, there are three defining traits of a burnout:
The Tell-Tale Signs of a Burnout
Emotional Exhaustion
Have you ever felt so tired that no matter the amount of rest or sleep you’re getting, you find yourself tired to start the day? Yep, that’s me for the past few months. Everyday I have to get up and go to work, I have to literally drag my body out of the bed and on to the train.
Please note that it is different from physical exhaustion. No amount of breaks or vacations, apparently, can fix this problem. I’m just emotionally incapable to handle more things—mainly from work, but it might also affect other parts of my life.
Depersonalisation
Also known as Cynicism, which is when you’re on short fuse with everyone around you — your boss, your colleagues and even your clients/ customers. This is also something I’ve been feeling lately. Every time I receive a brief or a feedback—even when it makes sense—I feel angry and frustrated, like it’s just to mess me up.
Really, it isn’t about the people around me necessarily, but it’s about the work load and requests that people throw at me. Sometimes I wish I had a literal plate in my hands filled with their requests, for them to see how full it is.
Personal Ineffectiveness
This, I find, is the most telling sign of all—and the one that makes burnouts so depressing and disempowering. It is when you feel like even if you go by the book, do your work perfectly or take on more initiatives, it wouldn’t matter—you still feel trapped and overwhelmed, without giving you any sense of fulfillment or satisfaction.
For me, this is something that I had to learn the hard way. Once my first burnout was solved, I thought I wouldn’t have to go through it again. So when I did, it felt like a clear sign.
Emotional Exhaustion
Have you ever felt so tired that no matter the amount of rest or sleep you’re getting, you find yourself tired to start the day? Yep, that’s me for the past few months. Everyday I have to get up and go to work, I have to literally drag my body out of the bed and on to the train.
Please note that it is different from physical exhaustion. No amount of breaks or vacations, apparently, can fix this problem. I’m just emotionally incapable to handle more things—mainly from work, but it might also affect other parts of my life.
Depersonalisation
Also known as Cynicism, which is when you’re on short fuse with everyone around you — your boss, your colleagues and even your clients/ customers. This is also something I’ve been feeling lately. Every time I receive a brief or a feedback—even when it makes sense—I feel angry and frustrated, like it’s just to mess me up.
Really, it isn’t about the people around me necessarily, but it’s about the work load and requests that people throw at me. Sometimes I wish I had a literal plate in my hands filled with their requests, for them to see how full it is.
Personal Ineffectiveness
This, I find, is the most telling sign of all—and the one that makes burnouts so depressing and disempowering. It is when you feel like even if you go by the book, do your work perfectly or take on more initiatives, it wouldn’t matter—you still feel trapped and overwhelmed, without giving you any sense of fulfillment or satisfaction.
For me, this is something that I had to learn the hard way. Once my first burnout was solved, I thought I wouldn’t have to go through it again. So when I did, it felt like a clear sign.
If you’re experiencing any of these symptoms—and especially if you’re experiencing all three—you may be having burnout right now. And I’m no expert or anything, so all I know of this phenomenon is from experience alone. But as someone who has experienced burnout at least twice in my life, I can tell you that it gives accumulative effects. When I experience burnouts twice in the same workplace or triggered by the same causes, the effect pretty much doubles the second time—because now there is the added sense of ineffectiveness, where you feel like things are never going to change. So this is what I learnt:
If you’re experiencing any of these symptoms—and especially if you’re experiencing all three—you may be having burnout right now. And I’m no expert or anything, so all I know of this phenomenon is from experience alone. But as someone who has experienced burnout at least twice in my life, I can tell you that it gives accumulative effects. When I experience burnouts twice in the same workplace or triggered by the same causes, the effect pretty much doubles the second time—because now there is the added sense of ineffectiveness, where you feel like things are never going to change. So this is what I learnt:
What I Learnt about Burnouts
1. Taking time off won’t solve anything
Question: If you’re in an unhappy relationship—be it toxic or the love has fizzled out—does taking a break from it help mend the relationship? Chances are no. Why? Because you will be dreading about the day that break ends and you have to return to a relationship that no longer serves you the whole time. The break wouldn’t give you a space to heal or a time to pause, it will just make you anxious. Well, that same logic goes for burnouts.
Experiencing burnout is exactly like realising that you’re in a relationship that no longer fulfills you. It’s not only about feeling tired or overwhelmed, but it’s about feeling those things for nothing. What’s the point of all this exhaustion and frustration when you no longer feel like your values are met? Similarly, it also doesn’t help to have more people on the team to help you—not if you no longer care about the job.
1. Taking time off won’t solve anything
Question: If you’re in an unhappy relationship—be it toxic or the love has fizzled out—does taking a break from it help mend the relationship? Chances are no. Why? Because you will be dreading about the day that break ends and you have to return to a relationship that no longer serves you the whole time. The break wouldn’t give you a space to heal or a time to pause, it will just make you anxious. Well, that same logic goes for burnouts.
Experiencing burnout is exactly like realising that you’re in a relationship that no longer fulfills you. It’s not only about feeling tired or overwhelmed, but it’s about feeling those things for nothing. What’s the point of all this exhaustion and frustration when you no longer feel like your values are met? Similarly, it also doesn’t help to have more people on the team to help you—not if you no longer care about the job.
2. Burnout isn’t just about feeling overwhelmed with work
Dr. Laurie Santos (again) identifies four main causes of burnout: overwhelming workload, values mismatch, unfairness and sense of reward. Please note how feeling overwhelmed is only one of the causes—in fact, it alone is not enough to lead to burnout over time, but may be an exacerbating feature. Let me explain to you the rest.
Values mismatch happen when what you expect you’d do at the job and what you end up doing are two different things. Speaking from experience, values mismatch can also happen when the company or employer you’re working for changes their value over time and you no longer feel like they align with yours.
Unfairness is, well, self-explanatory—it is when things feel a little unfair (i.e. favouritism, & difference in compensation), which can also cause a certain sense of community breakdown. Please underline the “community breakdown” as a major cause for burnout—which doesn’t necessarily have to be facts, but feeling like it is happening is enough to trigger burnout.
When Sense of reward shifts more towards extrinsic reward from an intrinsic one, that can trigger burnout really quick—especially when the extrinsic reward feels unfair. No amount of salary, bonuses or approval from others will ever make up for feeling deeply unfulfilled within yourself. Lack of appreciation and inability to find meaning in one’s work may also trigger this feature.
2. Burnout isn’t just about feeling overwhelmed with work
Dr. Laurie Santos (again) identifies four main causes of burnout: overwhelming workload, values mismatch, unfairness and sense of reward. Please note how feeling overwhelmed is only one of the causes—in fact, it alone is not enough to lead to burnout over time, but may be an exacerbating feature. Let me explain to you the rest.
Values mismatch happen when what you expect you’d do at the job and what you end up doing are two different things. Speaking from experience, values mismatch can also happen when the company or employer you’re working for changes their value over time and you no longer feel like they align with yours.
Unfairness is, well, self-explanatory—it is when things feel a little unfair (i.e. favouritism, & difference in compensation), which can also cause a certain sense of community breakdown. Please underline the “community breakdown” as a major cause for burnout—which doesn’t necessarily have to be facts, but feeling like it is happening is enough to trigger burnout.
When Sense of reward shifts more towards extrinsic reward from an intrinsic one, that can trigger burnout really quick—especially when the extrinsic reward feels unfair. No amount of salary, bonuses or approval from others will ever make up for feeling deeply unfulfilled within yourself. Lack of appreciation and inability to find meaning in one’s work may also trigger this feature.
3. Work does not define you
In this day and age, I think it is hard not to identify ourselves through our occupation. We see it all the time. When we introduce ourselves, we often want to follow up with our job title and, possibly, where we work. Like, “Hi, I’m Bivi! I’m a copywriter at a Creative Agency.” But that hasn’t always been the case. Think of the middle ages and well into the late 1900s, when people used to introduce themselves by their family, clan or place of dwelling. That’s because how we shape our identity has changed from what we were born into to what we do.
Today we take pride in labour. We like to boast about our occupations and the institutions to which we belong. However, when said institution changes values or our occupation has been reshaped, this can lead to burnout—or worse. We can either adapt and change our values, or start to question our sense of self.
3. Work does not define you
In this day and age, I think it is hard not to identify ourselves through our occupation. We see it all the time. When we introduce ourselves, we often want to follow up with our job title and, possibly, where we work. Like, “Hi, I’m Bivi! I’m a copywriter at a Creative Agency.” But that hasn’t always been the case. Think of the middle ages and well into the late 1900s, when people used to introduce themselves by their family, clan or place of dwelling. That’s because how we shape our identity has changed from what we were born into to what we do.
Today we take pride in labour. We like to boast about our occupations and the institutions to which we belong. However, when said institution changes values or our occupation has been reshaped, this can lead to burnout—or worse. We can either adapt and change our values, or start to question our sense of self.
I have seen people who shape their identity around work receive shocks when they see that the company they belong to and support decides to impose new values that they do not agree with, which later leads to burnout and depression. Perhaps, to counter this, try building an identity outside of work—see friends who are not from the office, practice a hobby that has nothing to do with your job, or maybe even start a personal project in your spare time. Just know that we are so much more than our labour—we are humans.
4. Healing doesn’t take time, it takes values
I know earlier I said taking time off doesn’t solve anything, but that’s not entirely true. It depends on what you do with your time off, not the length of it. You can take six months off work and still feel emotionally drained when it comes time to get back to the office, but you can also take only a week off and feel entirely refreshed for another day on the job. If you use your time off to really focus on the things you value, build your independent identity and detach from the office entirely, it is possible for your breaks to heal your burnout and let you come back fresh to the office.
However, nobody should define the right kind of breaks other than you. Nobody gets to tell you that you’ve taken enough pauses and haven’t suffered enough to even have a sense of burnout. Even if you’ve never lost sleep or didn’t have to work overtime ever, that doesn’t mean that you’re not feeling overwhelmed, depersonalised and ineffective. And just because you take a 6-month sabbatical leave from the office doesn’t guarantee that you’ll be fresh as new by the time you get back to work. The length doesn’t matter, it’s the quality of the break that matters.
I have seen people who shape their identity around work receive shocks when they see that the company they belong to and support decides to impose new values that they do not agree with, which later leads to burnout and depression. Perhaps, to counter this, try building an identity outside of work—see friends who are not from the office, practice a hobby that has nothing to do with your job, or maybe even start a personal project in your spare time. Just know that we are so much more than our labour—we are humans.
4. Healing doesn’t take time, it takes values
I know earlier I said taking time off doesn’t solve anything, but that’s not entirely true. It depends on what you do with your time off, not the length of it. You can take six months off work and still feel emotionally drained when it comes time to get back to the office, but you can also take only a week off and feel entirely refreshed for another day on the job. If you use your time off to really focus on the things you value, build your independent identity and detach from the office entirely, it is possible for your breaks to heal your burnout and let you come back fresh to the office.
However, nobody should define the right kind of breaks other than you. Nobody gets to tell you that you’ve taken enough pauses and haven’t suffered enough to even have a sense of burnout. Even if you’ve never lost sleep or didn’t have to work overtime ever, that doesn’t mean that you’re not feeling overwhelmed, depersonalised and ineffective. And just because you take a 6-month sabbatical leave from the office doesn’t guarantee that you’ll be fresh as new by the time you get back to work. The length doesn’t matter, it’s the quality of the break that matters.
5. Burnout can bleed into other parts of life
While burnout is a deeply professional issue, its effects can be so damaging to our mental health that it may affect other parts of our lives too—for instance, how we communicate with the people that we love. We are so hard-wired, in this mostly capitalist-driven hustle culture, to present our best selves at the office. When we experience burnout, this tendency is placed on top of the stress, frustration and overwhelm that we feel—which, obviously, could lead to a mental breakdown.
Since we tend to not be able to truly express ourselves at work, we take all this toxic energy back home with us and may even snap at our family when they ask anything of us. It can be as simple as asking what time we’d be coming home, and we’d feel like the weight on our shoulders got heavier. This is how burnout can affect our personal relationships, turning us into a worse person at home than we are required to be at the office.
While burnout is a deeply professional issue, its effects can be so damaging to our mental health that it may affect other parts of our lives too—for instance, how we communicate with the people that we love. We are so hard-wired, in this mostly capitalist-driven hustle culture, to present our best selves at the office. When we experience burnout, this tendency is placed on top of the stress, frustration and overwhelm that we feel—which, obviously, could lead to a mental breakdown.
Since we tend to not be able to truly express ourselves at work, we take all this toxic energy back home with us and may even snap at our family when they ask anything of us. It can be as simple as asking what time we’d be coming home, and we’d feel like the weight on our shoulders got heavier. This is how burnout can affect our personal relationships, turning us into a worse person at home than we are required to be at the office.
What to Do When You’re Already Burning Out?
Honestly, burnout is a structural issue. We as individuals can only solve our personal burnout, but we can only do so far in preventing future burnouts from happening—let alone keeping other people from experiencing them too. As institutions, workplaces have an obligation to reevaluate their systems and processes to make sure that the workload distribution, sense of value and rewards for each employee are within the humane bounds to ensure their employees’ wellbeing, both physically and emotionally. Doing so can prevent burnout among our society immensely.
As individuals, however, there are a number of things we can do to treat ourselves once we feel a sense of burnout. Here are some that you can try:
What to Do When You’re Already Burning Out?
Honestly, burnout is a structural issue. We as individuals can only solve our personal burnout, but we can only do so far in preventing future burnouts from happening—let alone keeping other people from experiencing them too. As institutions, workplaces have an obligation to reevaluate their systems and processes to make sure that the workload distribution, sense of value and rewards for each employee are within the humane bounds to ensure their employees’ wellbeing, both physically and emotionally. Doing so can prevent burnout among our society immensely.
As individuals, however, there are a number of things we can do to treat ourselves once we feel a sense of burnout. Here are some that you can try:
Detach Yourself
from Work
If you can, do it physically. Take time off—a long one, if possible—and keep work out of your mind. Let no one disturb you for work-related stuff. Meanwhile, do something that is of value to you and bring you a sense of fulfillment away from your job.
Otherwise, you can do it mentally. Create your identity separate from your work. Find a hobby, form out-of-office relationships and embrace your intrinsic values. Anything that defines you outside of your job.
You can do either or both of these temporarily or permanently. You get to assess what you feel is necessary.
Nurture Relationships outside of Work
Having close relationships outside of work will help you see that what happens at work—namely, your burnout—is not the end of the world. In fact, there’s a whole wide world out there with varying values that may be bigger than your office’s values.
Not only will these relationships help get your mind off work, but they will provide you with the personal bond that isn’t based on transactional relationships. They will remind you time and time again that you are human, with a heart and feelings who might not feel good all the time—and that’s okay, because they’re going to be there for you when you do.
Take Good Care
of Yourself
This goes beyond pamper sessions and me time—while those are good, they will not have lasting effects in times of burnout. Detaching from work and nurturing personal relationships are already a step forward in taking care of yourself too. Ultimately, you need to remind yourself of the values you hold outside of work regularly.
Even if you love your job very much and do build a big chunk of your identity around your work, make sure it is not the only thing of value to you. Think of your relationships, think of your physical and mental health. There are a lot more to value in life.
Detach Yourself
from Work
If you can, do it physically. Take time off—a long one, if possible—and keep work out of your mind. Let no one disturb you for work-related stuff. Meanwhile, do something that is of value to you and bring you a sense of fulfillment away from your job.
Otherwise, you can do it mentally. Create your identity separate from your work. Find a hobby, form out-of-office relationships and embrace your intrinsic values. Anything that defines you outside of your job.
You can do either or both of these temporarily or permanently. You get to assess what you feel is necessary.
Nurture Relationships outside of Work
Having close relationships outside of work will help you see that what happens at work—namely, your burnout—is not the end of the world. In fact, there’s a whole wide world out there with varying values that may be bigger than your office’s values.
Not only will these relationships help get your mind off work, but they will provide you with the personal bond that isn’t based on transactional relationships. They will remind you time and time again that you are human, with a heart and feelings who might not feel good all the time—and that’s okay, because they’re going to be there for you when you do.
Take Good Care
of Yourself
This goes beyond pamper sessions and me time—while those are good, they will not have lasting effects in times of burnout. Detaching from work and nurturing personal relationships are already a step forward in taking care of yourself too. Ultimately, you need to remind yourself of the values you hold outside of work regularly.
Even if you love your job very much and do build a big chunk of your identity around your work, make sure it is not the only thing of value to you. Think of your relationships, think of your physical and mental health. There are a lot more to value in life.
If you’re going through burnout right now, I hope you will overcome it soon
and that it will not happen again in the near future.
You are worth so much more than your work.
If you’re going through burnout right now, I hope you will overcome it soon
and that it will not happen again in the near future.
You are worth so much more than your work.