The (Emotional) Art of Decluttering

Ah, decluttering—I’m sure you’ve heard of it. It’s been all the rage these days, hasn’t it? People are doing it left and right; some even call it Marie Kondo-ing their wardrobe. Whatever you call it, you know it: It is the act of going through your possessions—be it in your bedroom, bathroom, kitchen or garden—and deciding what stays and what goes, depending on whether or not you still need and/or want the items.

Sounds like such a simple, yet laborious task, no? Which is why I also haven’t done it in ages—the last time was around 2014/2015. But, now that I’ve finally got time to spare, I thought I should give it a go once again, as 5-6 years is a long time to go without curating your wardrobe, wouldn’t you agree?

So last Sunday I got some boxes ready, poured a glass of iced coffee, put on some appropriate music and opened my wardrobe—it was time for some decluttering.

Take All Your Clothes Out

A no-brainer, I’m sure, but just humour me, okay? Now, don’t just take them out and pile them into one messy lump; segment them accordingly. For example, I divided my clothes into tops, outerwear (i.e. jumpers and jackets), pants & shorts, skirts, t-shirts, sleepwear, dresses and underwear. Each category will make 1-2 piles. This will make it easier for you to see and filter through, without being confused. Also, it’s a pretty nice view and reminder that you’ve probably got so much already.

Filter 1: Do They Still Fit?

Now it’s time to sift through them—I would recommend doing it per category, to make it less overwhelming. Let’s go through them filter by filter, okay? The first filter, I would suggest, is whether or not the clothes still fit right now. Don’t think about a faraway imaginary future, where they might fit you again one day. Right now—or, at least, in the last 12 months—do they fit?

I know, it could be a very hard thing to accept. Things can fit and not fit us in so many ways, not only physically—perhaps mentally, perhaps geographically. But this fit is crucial to the usage of an item. If it doesn’t, I’m afraid you’ll have to separate them into a different pile—we’ll call it the ‘let go’ pile.

Filter 2: Have You Worn Them Lately?

Next, try looking back to the last 12 months and remember whether or not you’ve worn the clothes in front of you. Why is this important? Let me give you context. There are a total of 365 days in a year—366 in a leap year, like this year—and that is a huge amount of time.

Potentially, you can be wearing 365 different outfits every year—or perhaps even more. If in those 365 outfits, the 1 item you have in front of you isn’t included…maybe that’s a sign. Maybe you’re subconsciously growing away from it and it’s just festering in the back of your wardrobe—and your mind. So let’s put it in the ‘let go’ pile and clear out that corner of your mind.

A Form of Self-Therapy

When I decided to give decluttering a go, I already knew that it would be a giant pain physically and mentally, but I didn’t expect it to affect me emotionally. Several of these clothes have been with me for years, adorning my memories and seeped with sentimental values, so it took a lot of pondering to determine which ones stay and which ones go.

To top it off, I went through a major breakup several months ago and this is the first decluttering I’ve done in the aftermath. You could probably imagine how much the whole experience tugged at my heartstrings.

For me, the act of keeping and letting go of clothes mean more than just the items themselves. It’s a way of saying, at the very least to myself, that I’m a changed person now or that I can finally be okay with saying goodbye to certain memories, people or ideas. It’s both heartbreaking and liberating.

The process took a lot less time than I thought. Using the filters mentioned above, it became easier to separate my needs to my feelings while separating the items. However, after everything is separated into the ‘keep’ and ‘let go’ piles, I went through the latter again whilst giving free rein to my emotions. This was when it started to get somewhat tough.

There was the skirt that I had since I first started blogging in 2012. Oh, here was the button-up shirt handed down from my previous partner. And remember when I became a committee member for this campus event that year? Gosh, how time must have flown! These were pieces of myself that I had somewhat outgrown.

These were memories that I no longer wanted to polish and stare at for hours on end. It wasn’t easy, making that decision, but knowing how lighthearted it’d make me feel, I knew it was the right one. As I put these clothes into the ‘let-go’ box, I knew I had let a version of myself go—perhaps forever.

How to Let Go?

Now that you’ve gone through your clothes and separated the ones you no longer want to keep, it’s time to ask yourself the important question: What am I going to do with the ‘let-go’ ones? Here I must urge you strongly to NOT throw them away to the garbage bin. We don’t want more of them going to landfills. Nuh uh, no, Sir. Of course, this part is entirely up to you, but here are the three categories that I used to separate the ‘let-go’ pile:

To-Be-Sold

When I think an item is still in a very good condition and has great market value, this is where I’ll put it. In Indonesia, you can always sell your preloved items on marketplace apps, such as Carousell, or on Instagram. Personally, I use both—although I’m more active on Instagram these days. The items that I recently decluttered will soon be available here, if you fancy a look. Otherwise, I hear Depop is pretty great too—although I’m not sure if it’s available worldwide. You can also change this category into “To-Be-Swapped” with your friends or in a community—it’s entirely up to you.

To-Be-Donated

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not donating items in bad conditions—maybe just lesser ones, with decreased market value. Something with mild discolouration, prior reparations and/or clothes from event committees. These are items I should easily put out of sight, out of mind, you know. Usually, I will leave it out for my housekeeper to take a good look and pick at. Once she’s taken the items she likes—if there are any—I’ll give the rest to NGOs who accept used clothes, such as Setali, Sadari Sedari, Life at Purpose, Berdaya Kain and REVUP. However, due to the pandemic, it is best to check up whether or not they still accept donations—and also, of course, to wash the clothes beforehand.

To-Be-Upcycled

Now, items with much, much lesser condition—say, fraying, thinning or has unrepairable holes—are put in this pile. These items are—at least to me—no longer considered as clothes, but simply fabric. The simplest way to deal with these is to turn them into rags to wipe kitchen counters, per se. You can also turn them into cute accessories, like earrings, bracelet, hairband or throw pillows—although, personally, I have neither experience nor skill to do so. In that case, I’ll turn to NGOs—bless these NGOs!—who accept broken clothes and look to upcycle them, such as REVUP,  Berdaya Kain, Beberes Indonesia and Life at Purpose.

Afterwards

After everything is done and dusted, all the clothes back to where they belong, I sat down on my bed to bask in the view that is my now-cleared-up wardrobe. What a view it was, to know that each and every item in this wardrobe serves a purpose, that I had literally handpicked them to stay. I had chosen these pieces that I actually love, instead of crowding the space—and, ultimately, my mind—with mindless ones that I can barely recall. Speaking of which, here are a few things I discovered along the way:

• I’ve got too many t-shirts, jackets and skirts to last me a lifetime.
• Most of my pants don’t fit anymore, sadly.
• Most of my night gowns are heavily damaged and no longer wearable.
• A few items are still good, but in dire need of mild repairs.
• My entire tights collection has been rendered useless.

I feel like realising and recognising these facts through decluttering is only the start of the journey. Afterwards, I still need to figure out what I’m going to do with the items I no longer wanted to keep. The first thing that popped into my head—as I’m sure some of yours too—is to get rid of the clothes, as in leaving them in someone else’s hands. That’s a pretty linear-economy mindset, don’t you think?

Even if we do decide to donate them, we cannot simply dump them onto others. We need to make sure that our donation doesn’t contribute to more waste being created in the world—which, then, is no different from the landfill—but, instead, fulfil an actual gaping need of the less fortunate.

Moreover, it is important to evaluate the way we shop, wear and care for our clothes. If purchasing or making a clothing item is the beginning, then this here is surely the ending—and it is best to come full circle, to close the loop—so that nothing will ever be wasted again.

Have you decluttered lately & what was your experience like?