A lot of you probably know by now, but I’ll say it anyway: Thursday was my 30th birthday! Oh my God, I cannot believe it’s finally happening. Not going to lie, I was so excited for it the whole year—my entire 29 was wasted on dreaming about turning 30. You might have read the 30 Before 30 wrap up earlier this month. Gosh! That felt so surreal. And I’m really glad that this really special birthday (for me) has been a really beautiful one too, thanks to my love, my family, my friends, my colleagues and you guys. Thank you so much to everyone who wished me a happy birthday, no matter how brief or deeply thought out it was—I appreciate each one.
A lot of you probably know by now, but I’ll say it anyway: Thursday was my 30th birthday! Oh my God, I cannot believe it’s finally happening. Not going to lie, I was so excited for it the whole year—my entire 29 was wasted on dreaming about turning 30. You might have read the 30 Before 30 wrap up earlier this month. Gosh! That felt so surreal. And I’m really glad that this really special birthday (for me) has been a really beautiful one too, thanks to my love, my family, my friends, my colleagues and you guys. Thank you so much to everyone who wished me a happy birthday, no matter how brief or deeply thought out it was—I appreciate each one.
Turning the Thirds
The road to 30 was long, bloody and paved with insecurity. Unlike when I turned 20 and felt like I didn’t deserve the digits yet, thirty feels like a long time coming. Thirty feels right to me right now. I earned these digits and I’m so glad it’s finally here. I’ve heard so many times from people who have entered this new decade that being thirty comes with more stable emotions, in-check insecurities and (hopefully) less regret. I’m so ready for all that.
There’s a lyric in Taylor Swift’s newly-released track 5 “You’re On Your Own, Kid” that goes like this, “‘Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burnt, everything you lose is the step you take.” It felt like validation for me, I want to stop feeling bad for the choices that I make for my own good.
So my birthday coincided with the office warming party that our office planned—we just moved to a new venue and it’s the kind of change that I craved. Everyone gathered around with tumpeng and cakes. Of course, my friends had to egg me on and everyone ended up starting the celebration singing happy birthday to me—I’m really sorry to those who were there but didn’t actually know me (
). It was all really embarrassingly sweet, though.
That night Agung and I also met up for dinner to celebrate. He let me choose and, of course, I chose pasta and cheese. We used my leftover coupons from 2 years ago to pay for the meal—it was so delicious! It felt like such a magical day. Then, on Friday, I took the day off to explore on my own.
The road to 30 was long, bloody and paved with insecurity. Unlike when I turned 20 and felt like I didn’t deserve the digits yet, thirty feels like a long time coming. Thirty feels right to me right now. I earned these digits and I’m so glad it’s finally here. I’ve heard so many times from people who have entered this new decade that being thirty comes with more stable emotions, in-check insecurities and (hopefully) less regret. I’m so ready for all that.
There’s a lyric in Taylor Swift’s newly-released track 5 “You’re On Your Own, Kid” that goes like this, “‘Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burnt, everything you lose is the step you take.” It felt like validation for me, I want to stop feeling bad for the choices that I make for my own good.
So my birthday coincided with the office warming party that our office planned—we just moved to a new venue and it’s the kind of change that I craved. Everyone gathered around with tumpeng and cakes. Of course, my friends had to egg me on and everyone ended up starting the celebration singing happy birthday to me—I’m really sorry to those who were there but didn’t actually know me (). It was all really embarrassingly sweet, though.
That night Agung and I also met up for dinner to celebrate. He let me choose and, of course, I chose pasta and cheese. We used my leftover coupons from 2 years ago to pay for the meal—it was so delicious! It felt like such a magical day. Then, on Friday, I took the day off to explore on my own.
Hand-me-down shirt // thrifted jacket + skirt // old boots + socks // Goethe tote bag (freebie!) //
photos by yours truly (it’s been a while!)
The truth is I didn’t really do anything special that day—nothing fancy or anything. In fact, the day was dedicated mostly to me running errands. However, that errand did lead me to a part of town that I had never explored before and I’m always happy to find new nooks and crannies. I went to Dukuh Atas. Back when I was still in uni, I used to pass by this place all the time to transit from bus to train. Back then, however, there was practically nothing here but a long, long walk. Now the place has been revamped with a cute park, an edgy tunnel—complete with awesome graffitis by my favourite artists Darbotz and Emte—and a little reading room. It felt like an entirely different country altogether.
I went a little deeper into the neighbourhood and explored the houses around these parts. There were so many cute, little alleyways here—which are my absolute favourite thing! They all look so neat and clean as well, which you really don’t see a lot of in Jakarta—especially when it’s as packed as this. The houses tend to be close on to the other, yet I didn’t spot a single garbage on the ground while I was there. The façade is lined with fancy houses, owned by expatriats and diplomats, with these narrow alleyways hidden behind them. But, man, it was such a vibe!
Hand-me-down shirt // thrifted jacket + skirt // old boots + socks // Goethe tote bag (freebie!) //
photos by yours truly (it’s been a while!)
The truth is I didn’t really do anything special that day—nothing fancy or anything. In fact, the day was dedicated mostly to me running errands. However, that errand did lead me to a part of town that I had never explored before and I’m always happy to find new nooks and crannies. I went to Dukuh Atas. Back when I was still in uni, I used to pass by this place all the time to transit from bus to train. Back then, however, there was practically nothing here but a long, long walk. Now the place has been revamped with a cute park, an edgy tunnel—complete with awesome graffitis by my favourite artists Darbotz and Emte—and a little reading room. It felt like an entirely different country altogether.
I went a little deeper into the neighbourhood and explored the houses around these parts. There were so many cute, little alleyways here—which are my absolute favourite thing! They all look so neat and clean as well, which you really don’t see a lot of in Jakarta—especially when it’s as packed as this. The houses tend to be close on to the other, yet I didn’t spot a single garbage on the ground while I was there. The façade is lined with fancy houses, owned by expatriats and diplomats, with these narrow alleyways hidden behind them. But, man, it was such a vibe!
Taking Out My Inner Grunge
I wanted to wear something that encompasses me as a person for this occasion, to signify me coming into my own. Orange is a colour that absolutely has to be there, no doubt. Paired with the black tulle skirt, I’m getting a subtle Halloween feel—but also one of edge and grunge. Add the boots and it’s grunge solidified.
Does anyone remember this jacket, by the way? It’s been over 3 years perhaps since the last time I wore it. This jacket grew with me throughout my twenties and the fact that it’s all frayed and tattered yet ends up looking cool and edgy is symbolic of my own growth this past decade.
Gosh, it’s been such a long time since I last took outfit photos of myself in public on my own. Since I met Agung, it has been so nice to have his help with the photos for this blog. He’s always so excited about it too that the process becomes ten times more enjoyable with him—and we all walk away with the best shots. Needless to say, I’ve become really comfortable with having him around that I’ve gotten rusty in my photo-taking skills. Not to mention my utter anxiety that someone would take my camera when I turned my back—thankfully didn’t happen.
Gosh, it’s been such a long time since I last took outfit photos of myself in public on my own. Since I met Agung, it has been so nice to have his help with the photos for this blog. He’s always so excited about it too that the process becomes ten times more enjoyable with him—and we all walk away with the best shots. Needless to say, I’ve become really comfortable with having him around that I’ve gotten rusty in my photo-taking skills. Not to mention my utter anxiety that someone would take my camera when I turned my back—thankfully didn’t happen.
I wanted to wear something that encompasses me as a person for this occasion, to signify me coming into my own. Orange is a colour that absolutely has to be there, no doubt. Paired with the black tulle skirt, I’m getting a subtle Halloween feel—but also one of edge and grunge. Add the boots and it’s grunge solidified.
Does anyone remember this jacket, by the way? It’s been over 3 years perhaps since the last time I wore it. This jacket grew with me throughout my twenties and the fact that it’s all frayed and tattered yet ends up looking cool and edgy is symbolic of my own growth this past decade.
As for the editing, I decided to add something new to my routine. Do you notice anything different? It’s pretty subtle, though, so it might not be so noticeable. I added a bit of blueish hue to make the photos look more underground and edgy—definitely overusing this word on this post. I’d like to experiment more with photo editing from now on, make each post really personal by adding colour grading that would bring out the vibe of the entire post—the outfit, the writing, the topic.
So what are my expectations and hope for my 30s? First and foremost, I want to do away with my insecurities. I want to feel more sure of myself, more comfortable with who I am and what I choose to do. I want to stop letting people dictate how I should feel or be. I want to stop anyone from making me feel bad about myself. For most of my 20s, I struggled from time to time with the idea of feeling unloveable. I always feel like people either despise or forget about me—the latter felt worse and more likely. Starting my 30s feeling so loved by a lot of people I didn’t think would care feels right, as if my decade came full circle. Hopefully that represents what the next decade has in store for me.
Here’s to the next decade and more! Cheers!
As for the editing, I decided to add something new to my routine. Do you notice anything different? It’s pretty subtle, though, so it might not be so noticeable. I added a bit of blueish hue to make the photos look more underground and edgy—definitely overusing this word on this post. I’d like to experiment more with photo editing from now on, make each post really personal by adding colour grading that would bring out the vibe of the entire post—the outfit, the writing, the topic.
So what are my expectations and hope for my 30s? First and foremost, I want to do away with my insecurities. I want to feel more sure of myself, more comfortable with who I am and what I choose to do. I want to stop letting people dictate how I should feel or be. I want to stop anyone from making me feel bad about myself. For most of my 20s, I struggled from time to time with the idea of feeling unloveable. I always feel like people either despise or forget about me—the latter felt worse and more likely. Starting my 30s feeling so loved by a lot of people I didn’t think would care feels right, as if my decade came full circle. Hopefully that represents what the next decade has in store for me.
Here’s to the next decade and more! Cheers!